Angry Beards Poseidon's Kiss Toilet Paper Humidifier 150 ml
Angry Beards Poseidon's Kiss Toilet Paper Humidifier 150 ml
Available in stock
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Estimated delivery: Aug 25 - Aug 29
Specification
Specification
The first innovation in toilet paper in 150 years since its invention that is worth talking about. Finally, with ordinary paper you can polish your rear end so perfectly that it will shine like a dog's balls. Just apply two squares of 2-ply toilet paper with the revolutionary moisturiser Clean-ass and buff. Hygienic and, unlike wet wipes, also environmentally friendly. No more torn tissue scattered in the bushes around you, just a happy backside with a smile from ear to ear.
- Revolutionary toilet paper moisturiser
- Cleansing foam that does not clog drains like wet wipes
- For use in the most sensitive terrain with panthenol and prebiotics
- One pump (usually) is enough
- Proudly made in Czechia
THE KING OF THE SEA'S WASHING PROGRAMME
You can solve a dirty car in 3 ways. You wipe it with a dry cloth and just scratch the paint. You splash it with water and wipe the mud with your hand. Or you go to the car wash, where you get a premium programme with undercarriage wash and in a few minutes you have it gleaming. And it is exactly the same with washing your rear end. You can mess about with dry toilet paper, as we have been doing since the 19th century (Chinese experiments with rice straw in the 6th century AD do not even count). Not everyone has a shower at home to wash their rear end with water and not everyone has the stomach to rummage around in it with their fingers. And buying wet wipes to take home, which cannot be flushed without clogging the drain, is not for everyone.
For everyone else, there is Poseidon's toilet paper moisturiser, a revolutionary cleansing foam that has been looking after men's backsides since 2024.
POSEIDON'S KRYPTONITE
It is true, even the king of the sea has his Achilles heel. And that is poor quality single-ply toilet paper. Do not skimp on this consumable and get the expensive 4-ply. Then, according to the experience of our brave testers, one square will be enough for you. To get the same protection against tearing with cheaper paper, you need to stack it properly on top of itself. Otherwise, you risk an unwelcome visit from the reserves, if you know what we mean.
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Use:
Take a piece of toilet paper (ideally 4-ply or two squares of 2-ply on top of each other) and apply the foam with one pump. Spread it evenly by folding the paper and pressing the halves almost together. Then, with the moistened side, polish your rear end and the surrounding area. The foam is gentle, requires no rinsing, just rub it off a little during normal cleaning. And your backside will shine again with happiness and cleanliness.
PRO TIP: If you have gates to Mordor protected by an impenetrable thicket and you are planning to go on a longer hike, apply Antistick to its slopes as well. You really do not want a wolf there!
Poseidon's gentle cleansing foam is used to moisten toilet paper and cleanse the anal opening including the surrounding area. A revolutionary innovation that turns ordinary paper into an alternative to wet wipes without its flushing smelling of clogged drains or, heaven forbid, endangering the lives of adorable turtles.
Top-quality cleansing is provided by surfactant from coconut oil and plant extracts full of cleansing saponins. We selected everything to suit use in the most sensitive terrain and for safety we added soothing panthenol, a deeply hydrating carbohydrate complex and prebiotics that positively affect microflora. On top of all that, a few herbal extracts with antioxidant and refreshing effects. Pure joy in every pump.
Packaging 150 ml
Composition: Water, Coco-Glucoside, Glycerin, Alfa-Glucan oligosaccharide, Carbohydrate complex, Panthenol, Acacia Concinna fruit extract, Date palm fruit extract, Gypsophila root extract, Aloe leaf extract, Azadirachta indica leaf extract, Lime extract, Rosemary leaf extract, Sage leaf extract, Thyme leaf extract, Soapwort root extract, Sodium citrate, Lactic acid, Citric acid, Sorbic acid, Sodium benzoate, Potassium sorbate, Parfum, Fragrance components (Hexyl Cinnamal, Hydroxycitronellal, Hexamethylindanopyran, Tetramethyl Acetyloctahydronaphthalenes, Linalool).
Material and care
Material and care
30-day returns
30-day returns
We offer a 30-day period for returning or exchanging goods if, for any reason, you are not satisfied with your order.
For more information, please see our Return Policy here.
Delivery
Delivery
Orders received by 14:00 are dispatched the same day. Delivery usually takes place on the next business day, depending on the selected shipping method. During busy periods, please allow 1–3 business days for order processing.
Free delivery from €200 / for oversized shipments from €400
Free of charge, ready for pickup on the next business day
For more information, please see our Delivery page.
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